im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was like eating out sand paper
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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