Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
