If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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