I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
