Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
