you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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