She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
