: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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