I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
so much tequila, so little girl.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
