before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
