I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
