the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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