he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
