you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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