She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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