that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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