So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
