Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
