Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
