i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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