why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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