tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
