I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
