vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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