I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
