using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
