He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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