My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The power of my boobs compel you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
