mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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