Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
