just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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