Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it because I queefed?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
