Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
