My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
