I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Buhtt sex?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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