I think im going to throw up on grandma
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
