Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
