Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
