I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
