piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
