we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
