I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
