u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
