actually, I'm a sock model
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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