Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
