he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
