Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
