it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
