dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
