The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
