3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
