That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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