i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
